Morning Sessions

This morning, as we usually do, David and I chose which sessions most appealed to us.  I attended the 'Medical Issues in Ds-What Caregivers Need to Know' session.  It was given by Dr. Vellody, so it was very thorough, practical, informative, and helpful.  He covered many topics we all need to be aware of-sleep apnea, skin issues, atlantoaxial instability, feeding, behavior... the list goes on.  This session was an overview of what to be aware of, and did not have a lot of time for questions. 

The second morning session was a continuation of his first presentation, and was all about the questions parents want to ask.  You could write, text, or verbally ask questions about your specific situations.  Sometimes he had an answer, and sometimes he would recommend seeing someone if the situation was something that needed to be addressed in person.  He's very practical and realistic. 

One of the points Dr. Vellody makes that I like was that sometimes, they have kids arrive at their clinic with something he calls "CDD"... Chronic Discipline Deficiency :)  It may be said in jesting, but he also notes that the behaviors we allow in young children with Ds can be harder to change and correct as they age.  Little ones who love throwing shoes at doctors (was his example from real life experiences), and are never corrected, turn into teens and adults who do whatever they want whenever they want to.  It's not just throwing things, it's any unwanted behaviors.

There are a lot of behavioral sessions here.  It's a hot topic for many families.  Dr. Vellody made an excellent point.  He sees teens and adults come in to their transition program that have never had consistent discipline to teach them socially appropriate behaviors.  Not punishments, but guidelines for accepted behaviors.  These older teens and adults then go out into the workplace to find employment, and are having trouble transitioning.  Why?  Because if they don't want to do something, they do as they've always been allowed to do-refuse, avoid, retaliate.  Then the employers say "I knew this wasn't a good idea", and the clients say "why can't my kid be accepted in a job?". 

These are hard to acknowledge but very valid and important issues we face with our kids.  I know we always try to model best behaviors, and it doesn't always work.  Especially when other friends or caregivers allow behaviors because they feel sorry for our kids, or excuse behaviors just because they have Ds, or think it's inevitable behavior.  It's not.  What may be cute at 4, like pulling hair or slapping hands or whacking things with a stick, won't be so cute at 14 when they're trying to be accepted into social groups or public activities, or at 24 when they're trying to secure employment.

Unfortunately, our kids seem to develop habits and routines very quickly.  You take them out to Wendy's as a treat for good behavior at one activity, and suddenly every Tuesday night is junk food night.  They accidentally grab the wrong mom's leg or grab or slap someone in public and you allow it or laugh, and suddenly they are grabbing inappropriate portions of anatomy of unsuspecting strangers. These types of situations can have legal consequences to our children as they age, as well.

We have to be aware of what routines we are creating, and be sure to keep an eye to the future just as much as we teach our typical children appropriate and acceptable behaviors.  It will not only help us as parents to be more stress-free, but will benefit our children in so many ways throughout their lives.